Love, Honour, and Fuck That Shit

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OK…..so.

(I always wanted to start a blog with “OK, so….” just because it’s so fucking frowned upon. Job done).

First up: a confession. I pinched the title from a story. But it’s my own story so I ain’t gonna be suing the arse off myself. Actually – I might do that. I’m weird.

This is about marriage and what it IS and what it should be and what it IS THE FUCK NOT….

….at least…to me. These are my eyes and they see weirdly. They can also cry if they want to. And so can my soul. Whatever and wherever the Hell that may be.

Marriage to me is nothing to do with godstuff. It’s nothing to do with vowing some meaningless shite in front of a shitload of leathered guests who’ve essentially only turned up because they have a particular affinity with free fucking food and ridiculously big fuckoff hats.

Marriage is about….well, marriage. Two people, who just find each other. And when they do, they realise they’ve been lost up until this point. Where’ve they been? Where the FUCK were they the first 10, 20, 30 years of your life?

More to the point – where’ve YOU been all your life? Certainly not here.

But that’s just it –  it wasn’t a life before they came. It was an existence….although you can’t envisage how the fuck you ever existed without this person in the first place.

It’s definitely not about some dog-collar-wearing dude or conveyor-belt registrar saying “Right. You’re married”. What in unholy fuckness is that?  It’s like: oh gee, thanks for telling me that I’m now married to this person I already felt married to anyway and have been all my fucking life but didn’t know it until they actually materialised.  This person who was made for me, waiting for me, this other half – this CREATURE of utter perfection who takes away my pain and carries it with them. But yeah – thanks for your fucking PERMISSION to carry on and love them until all eternity, coz I really wouldn’t have known how to do that.

What do vows actually mean anyway? I mean – people change. Shit changes. Crap happens. How can you possibly stand up and vow to love someone forEVER when you don’t know if they’re gonna fuck with you in ten years’ time?

But there it is – right there. If you DON’T know…don’t fucking say I do.

Only the RIGHT marriages are forever. Like when you fall in love with someone by text or email or on-line dating or whatthefuckever. (Yes, I know shitloads of such couples). That stuff is REAL. It’s part of this New World that we all have to be brave in. And if anything – that stuff is more meaningful. You fall in love with a PERSON. Not a fucking face, or a pisshead on a drunken night out. Not some guy from school whose *number you obtained at the school bastard disco and thought ten years later “why don’t I give him a call?”.

*Big mistake…

On the coin’s other side, making yourself unmarried is equally easy. To me, if you don’t FEEL married, you’re not. You don’t need some dude in a suit to declare your unlove. Ban all paperwork and let it be about the SOUL. Hell – a soul is something I don’t even believe in (I’m a science girl myself)….but then you suddenly find someone…somehow…who teaches you to believe in the power of SHALL and WAS and FOR EVER WILL BE. Someone who GETS every last one of your freaky time theories and in doing so, gets YOU. Someone who is OFF-THE-PLANET smart and understands when you spout about time having fuck-all to do with clocks…..because, being PART of you….he says the same stuff.

This is someone whose touch you can feel when he’s not even with you…..whose AURAL SEX voice turns you to jelly (or Jell-O) and whose words drive you so fucking crazy with love, passion, brainsex, desire, and blunt fucking take-me-now horniness.

And that kind of person IS someone with whom you wanna stand up and vow about eternal love… BECAUSE, damn it, you’re a big-gobbed, ranty shouty bitch…..but you’re also a romantic *motherfucker.

(*husbandfucker, technically).

3 thoughts on “Love, Honour, and Fuck That Shit

  1. Science and soul walk hand in hand, and “intelligent design” does NOT mean what the masses think it means. Soul IS science, and vice-versa/versa-vice all over again. That’s what cracks me up overall these silly factions on one side or the other. Our “science” just hasn’t figured “soul” (spirit, being, energy, presence, however anyone wants to refer to it) out yet. Science itself has an aesthetic of soul without even knowing it. And the soul needs science, so it can learn and function properly. Neither has anything to do with RELIGIONS, those great opiates to the masses, used primarily to thieve, scare, and FORCE itself upon the ignorant or despairing.

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