I stretched my two shoulders, surrounding my head
where my neck had once been, was my stomach instead
My eyes went from green then to blue and to purple
And you should see the state of my shit fucking hair – well,
It’s long and it’s knotty and covers my gob
And my eyebrows aren’t eyebrows, they’re shaped like a knob
And what once was my nose is now battered and smushed
And I look like a pisshead, the lushiest lush
My glasses went weird, just as weird as my thumbs
Then my fingers insisted on looking like bums
So do not have a go at me looking like slop
I confess that I’m tested, I HATE Photoshop.

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