THE LOVES AND LOVE-NOTS

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This is how it went down:
There was love.

On her part, at least, there was love.
It wasn’t returned.

She hoped it might be, one day.
Contact was full-on…until it wasn’t.

Until she was no longer in his thoughts.

Until she awoke.

Once again, she’d been manipulated and kept around like a fail-safe, idiot-proof, back-up plan. She could imagine his intentions as he played her like the afterthought she’d always been, “she’ll just be there, waiting for me as always.”

But no.
No, she wasn’t.
She wasn’t waiting.

She had already lived her life thus far in an unrequited state and wasn’t about to continue lovelessly.

In the beginning, he had spoken of his desire that one day she would know her worth. He would make her see it. He would make her realise that she should never value herself based on that which she meant to others. It was all in HER, he said.

She is finally aware of her worth. She also knows her value to him – which is insignificantly minimal.

But she f i n a l l y knows her own worth.

And still, love is there. But this time, it’s the love she has for herself.

 

SONNET 7,773

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I wonder: has he ever been a muse,
With poetry and song thrown at his feet?
Has somebody created art anew
As fortune made it so that they should meet?
I wonder: how could anybody fail
To share the love and beauty of his soul?
A magnitude of universal scale;
So powerful, love cannot be controlled.
I wonder: did I tackle something right?
Apparently I did, for I am blessed;
A mission from a darker, sadder life?
For all my wants and hopes have been addressed.

I’ll speak my sentiment in poetry;
Unquestioned beauty speaks in rhyme to me.

LMN

 

 

Sonnet 8,132

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I could explore the contents of my heart
Explaining how I feel and what I see
Describing how I felt right from the start
And telling him the things he does to me.
I might decide to speak my thoughts for real;
Be tempted to reveal my inner state;
For how else would he know the way I feel?
Unless, of course, he sees it on my face.
I wonder if he’ll notice through my words;
And whether he’ll be easily convinced
Perhaps when first I speak, I shall be heard
But truth be told: my heart holds everything.
For when he puts his hand there, he will feel;
He’ll know it beats for him because it’s real.

LMN