THE BEACH BOYS

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My kids were sleeping in their beds

As other children cried;

With dreams inside their little heads

As Mums and Babies died.

Mine snored away right through the night

As other children fled.

A dream of fun; not one of fright

As sons and fathers bled.

Their dreams unreal and love unsaid

As kids fell from a boat

They slept all night: bound, blanketed

Whilst others died afloat.

I checked upon them carefully

Whilst parents searched the shore

And here were mine all safe with me;

Whilst theirs would live no more.

And still mine slept and still they breathed;

As mourning families cried;

All safe, alive and here with me

As little children died.

 

Yes, little children died.

Wilfred’s Men

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A poet’s inky soul reacts to crumpled men with words intact;

Recalling lies as glory folds, one verse – yet many stories told:

Our Wilfred said they’d cursed through sludge, towards their distant rest they’d trudged;

And Wilfred’s men had lost their boots but limped on, blind; deaf to the hoots.

There, Wilfred saw a hanging face – as death came to his writing-place;

So we could read -at every jolt- of gargled blood to our revolt.

If Wilfred knew – if he could see -dead men survived by poetry,

What would he say – and would he be surprised his words adored by me?

Adored by age, revered by youth; for otherwise-unspoken truth.

If he were now – if he were here, would Wilfred to the world endear?

Or is it likelier he’d see: arms being sold; cash weaponry?

And then the fight to stop it all, this great divide as countries fall?

Perhaps for now, hypocrisy – humanity’s cacophony:

And as he rhymes of this or that, he’d write: Manus Manum Lavat.

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We Have Such Sights To Show You

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So – you’re a movie buff. Me too. But for those of you still in the filmfreak closet, here’s a way you can quote your favourite lines ALL….DAY….LONG….and nobody need ever know (unless you want them to – I assure you, it’s a great pulling technique if you want to gather yourself a nice, smart movie geek).

Technically, any flick with a half-decent script is a quotemine, so this list is compiled with that in mind; to show you just how easy it is. Quotes you didn’t know you knew, lines from films that are usually overlooked when it comes to “Best Quote” lists. It’s especially thigh-slappingly amusing trying to crowbar a line into a conversation at work. With a customer. On the telephone. And yes – I have. Many times.

So fly, fly – engage in a little of your own project mayhem that only the true enthusiast will espy. Let’s explore how we can take oft-overlooked statements and make them work for us (Work it, baby, work it…)

Ah….We have such sights to show you….

The Terminator (1984)

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Why it’s so quotable – with a Duel-like chase, the story becomes all the more sinister as Arnie’s Terminator takes on the voice of Sarah Connor’s mother to track her down at the sleazy motel. You too can be equally menacing if you need to know where someone lives:

“Give me your address there”.

OR…..run from that spider crawling towards you, at the same time maniacally exclaiming:

Why me? Why does it want me?

When trying to haggle at a market or garage sale, turn to whoever is next to you and tell them, referring to the vendor:

It can’t be bargained with, it can’t be reasoned with.

(Using this one makes you truly awesome.)

This will all stand you in good stead for the day you need to borrow someone’s clothes, boots, and motorcycle.

Withnail and I (1987)

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Why it’s so quotable- the greatness of the nothingness of every single thing that happens in this movie owes itself to Bruce Robinson’s uber-screenplay. He provides us with a truly juicy superabundance of utterances which can be easily levered into everyday speak.

The finest hangover line available to humanity?

I feel like a pig shat in my head.

Feeling a little paranoid in a new office or hotel room?

You’re not leaving me in here alone. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at.

When you experience poor service at a local establishment, it’s super-fun to yell:

We are multimillionaires. We shall buy this place and fire you immediately.

(Of course, they won’t believe you, but your pure awesomeness makes that a moot point).

When you’ve haggled with the vendor at the aforementioned garage sale, you do of course need to tell them they’re out of their mind. But it only makes sense when you get down to two quid.

Fight Club (1999)

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Why it’s so quotable – With their screenplay, the deities that are Chuck Palahniuk and Jim Uhls make things secretly obvious. If you’re anything like me, by the end of the movie your head is spinning with the incredible dialogue you’ve just heard.

To console someone about a break-up:

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.

If you want a slap in the chops, wait until someone you know gives birth to a girl and utter:

We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.

(The mere danger/stupidity value of using this quote means you’ll receive extra cool points on your awesomeness chart).

It’s the ideal movie for paraphrasing purposes, too, where you can create endless phrases inspired by Chuck and Jim: “I am Philip’s sense of utter rejection” or “I am Maria’s total lack of responsibility”.  I am Linda’s lack of fuck-giving. That kind of stuff.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

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Why it’s so quotable – it’s fucking Ferris fucking Bueller’s fucking Day Off. That is all.

Customer service agents leaving you frustrated on the telephone? So many choices: but to start with you could ask them

Do you know anything?

(Or simply tell them to stick their finger up their butt).

Worried about being fired for using Terminator quotes on the telephone? Talk about your boss thus:

If I’m gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that.

And if you are clever enough to crowbar:

I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind

into a real life situation, then I may need to marry you a little bit.

This will imbue a sense of greater purpose and confidence: If you need to call across the office to your colleague Grace, you KNOW how it must be done.

Beetlejuice (1988)

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Why it’s so quotable – If you ever wanted to prove yourself strange and unusual, this film gives you the chance.

Not into the person trying to pull you down the local boozer? Refuse to tell them your name:

If I tell you, you’ll tell your friends…

..and go on to say it’d make your life Hell, ok? A living hell. (Disclaimer: at this juncture, if they get it and laugh hysterically, you may have to have a rethink – they might just be The One).

Viewing a new house? Not too keen? Tell the estate agent:

Oh look! An indoor outhouse.

Of course, there is the one you HAVE to use whenever you try on a new outfit:

This might be a good look for me.

Extra points for saying it after sucking on some helium.

Dave (1993)

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Why it’s so quotable – because it rocks. Simple.

Excellent insults abound:

You’re LINT! You’re a FLEA! You’re a BLIP!

Try on a sweater vest and complain in your best Voice of Ving that it makes your neck look too thick.

Take the kids on a museum trip just so you can say:

We’re walking, we’re walking…and we’re stopping.

(This could only be made cooler if Frank Langella were to bustle past).

Be Dave. Because Dave is just wonderful. Fess up to everything:

I take full responsibility for each one of my illegal actions.

If you know anyone called Ellen (or with the initials LN), you do of course have to thank them for doing this at every available opportunity. It’s the law.

Robocop (1987)

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Why it’s so quotable – because it’s essentially a comic lavishly portrayed by real people. It’s also one of the finest movies ever made.

Assure your friend that their upcoming surgery will be a success:

They’ll fix you. They fix everything.

Made a typo on a document? As you delete it, you MUST say out loud:

Now it’s time to erase that mistake.

(Come on! Say it with me!)

There ARE a lot more quotes from this movie…..I can feel them… but I can’t remember them.

Austin Powers(s) –  (1997 et seq)

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Why it’s so quotable – because it’s such a well-rounded collection of Mmmmmovies.

Don’t go for the obvious YEAH BABY nonsense. But if you’re about to go for surgery to correct your vision, you HAVE to do air quotes when you say LASER otherwise it’s just a wasted opportunity.

Channel Scott Evil wherever possible, with as many, like, whatevers as you can. And always refer to the French language as Paris talk. It’s like, cool.

Being that you’ll often hear people using the boring old in-a-nutshell phrase, you can liven things up. You know how – get on your back and be you, in a nutshell.

As you do this, laugh inwardly at your own genius, point to someone and tell them that’s where they are. They’re there.

Casablanca (1942)

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Why it’s so quotable – it’s set in a gin joint. There’s booze.

Enter a casino and declare that you are:

..shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!

Next time someone calls you a piss-head, explain that that makes you a citizen of the world.

Confuse the enemy: explain that somehow,

just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust.

You could also tell someone that you are looking at them, kid, but this may just cause confusion.

School for Scoundrels (1960)

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Why it’s so quotable – watch it. Just watch it.

Tell someone you’ve been married a long time. Perhaps almost

Be utterly charming and patronising at the same time, translating everything on the menu. Even if it’s in English.

Point to some tomatoes in your local store, and state what they are.

If you’re being berated for trying to get one over on someone, explain that:

he who is not one up, is one down.

Speaking of one-upmanship, get one over on your local garage by convincing them that your piss-poor excuse for a heap-of-crap car is actually a rare automotive gem.

See? It’s easy when you know how. I’m off for a game of golf now, but it’s snowing. So I’ll use red balls.

Berg

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A pawn in an incomplete game uncomplicated by black static madness, their blood loss grimace once left you tongue-tied like blind serpents revelling in eternal shallow madness.

Madness’ descent might pause on this: a salvation that would appear
in a single kiss that’d had no reason to exist until this moment. And once it did, once it does, it would and will see through all this.

Through all this, and after spending too long in the half-life, you reach out to claim that which would make you whole. Geiger-counting your blessings, you undulate and beat, finding yourself pulsating and clicking like morse – no, remorseful – code on a dry ocean.

Oceans are ready to embrace and replace; for as you’d already sunk, so would you prove yourself The Unsinkable, bound and unbound for the surf-state where stars would board and disembark at once.

Once under, twice over, you would backstay after coming up for air; air being the thing that filled the glass, whether in totality or in a lesser role of topping-up the space.

Space time, or time and space, or Spime – however you label it, the glass is always full. This made it neither half-full nor half-empty. For at least evermore.

Evermore, the specifics of whyness depend upon the vantage point of the glass-looker-atter. So Look. Look at the glass. And see. And drink.

Drink the liquid water and crunch the solid; the glass is still full.

You are still full.
You are the air.
Breathe yourself in.

 

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CREEP

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Creep,

You continue stalking? I will name and shame you. I have social media at my fingertips and I ain’t afraid to use it. BACK THE FUCK DOWN.

Linda.

He Could Be Mine

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The boy, he sits – I notice how he’s grey
My kids are being difficult again
He’s dry, all caked in wall from war’s new way
My kids are yelling, fighting in their den

They pulled him from the rubble here to sit
My children make this noise I cannot stand
A living ghost across the world transmits
My children keep on getting out of hand

He’s there because of them, because of us
My babies all say sorry, make amends
He lifts his hand to wipe away the pus
My babies need to stay this way – be friends.

The grey boy sits his life down on a chair
I look at him and see my own sat there.

1,2,3

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I started to write a story
That story was all about me
But somebody said
First person was dead
And I should write it in second, you see.
So you must try again and pick up the pen
To make sure that your best voice is heard
But you can’t pay attention
To the second’s intention
So the girl writes a story in third.

 

GAMES

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I wanted to take some photographs
Of sports and stuff
Like swimming ‘n’ all
And that thing they do with the girls and the balls
And the stuff that defies all known physics
So I took a whole bunch of Olym Pics.

Tongue

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Now let me win you over with my tongue;
Sensations too persistent to ignore;
Emotions that are hitherto unsung
Perhaps I’ll make you drop to bed, to floor.
And let me make you beg and salivate;
My tongue shall fuck your being to the core;
So eager to explore and lubricate;
As I enable beauty, ripped and raw.
Then let me finish off by my own hand;
Designing and refining love’s ascent
Ascending to a place that should be banned;
All happening with passion and consent.

My tongue, of course, refers to words I spoke;
My hand to this: the poetry I wrote.

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FROGS

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If you think of a number ‘tween ten and eleven, I’ll write you a verse and it won’t rhyme with ‘heaven’. For seven and eleven are fed up with this shit, where maybe rhymes with baby and where poetry’s no fit. Unimaginative cacophony flows from writers with no rhythm, and as the frogs of Aristophanes croak, good rhymes are croakin’ with ’em. There’s no thought for meter or beats now and never a pause for gorgeous rhymed thoughts coz somehow the elite don’t want their feet wet; for the fools daren’t step in the pool yet – the lake of new syntax where with order you fuck, to make the logical abstract in paint or in book. Don’t give free verse a worse time than you’d give to a song, listen up, say it loud, hum the tune, make up slang.
And the answers are there in your mind’s own thesaurus, for your own collection’s full of the sublime and fucking awesome. If you access your own mind, sit and question the hive, you might even find the word you need to rhyme with ten point five.
Just stop fucking with poetry by taking your prose and making it suck with versed formats coz believe me, that blows.