…they just, as the song goes, make you worse. Sigh.

A couple of weeks ago, my GP prescribed Duloxetine, a replacement for the Amitriptyline I can’t tolerate—which in turn, was a replacement for the Nortriptyline I had been unable to tolerate before that. (These are typically used as anti-depressants but are also pretty good, I’m told, for tackling neuro-pain.) But what with my neurodifuckity being on fi-yuh of late (thanks, Brain), picking up the prescription slipped my mind; it was only when I had to collect Mum’s script that I remembered my own. So, I collected it yesterday and took my first dose before bed.

Bad idea. Really bad. Terrible nightmares, most of which involved images of THIS BOX. Dream-people telling me it was dangerous, warning me not to take it because it messes with the ol’ hormones… which is ill-advised when one is awaiting surgery…

…and I woke up the sickest I’d been since the Pregnancy Years. Real, throwy-uppy badness. So nauseated I wanted to curl up and sleep it all away.

What pisses me off the most, though, is having to call in sick again. After the latest bout, I’d just been getting back on track, feeling pretty well, aside from having to have the occasional stick-day (leaning on that thing helps with the joint pain and the stomach nonsense). But apparently, my body just does NAHT take chemical changes well.

The upshot of all this is I’ve decided to go completely drug-free. Medication is more trouble than it’s worth. Of course, this means I am now rethinking the idea of going on HRT once I’ve had my hysterectomy. Might go au naturel with that, too. Better knuckle down and do some research. To drug, or not to drug, as Hamlet didn’t say.

I’d never intended on having a loud, dramatic life, but shit keeps happening. It just does, so the least I can do is write about it. One day, I’ll look back on all this and laugh, right?

I have high hopes, though. I have every intention of coming out on the other side—not the death thing, the other thing. Getting through it. Being better than ever – evolving like the finest of on-screen protagonists, making decisions good and bad, and reaching the end of my character arc with heaps and heaps of tales to tell.

That’s the dream.